~Tell me I can't and I will show you I can~

I've been thinking greatly about my life.  Lately I've kind of fell off track but it happens.  It can't always be smoothe sailing.  Your gonna hit the occasional rock or bump or maybe even an iceberg.  shit happens.  I'm in the process right now of getting my life back on track and making myself happy.  I've been way to ivolved with other people and focusing on things that are not important.  It has put me in a place I never want to be.  So, from now on I will be focusing mostly on work.  I also plan on learning how to play guitar.  I just went and put a hot pink acoustic on layaway.  Another thing I will be focusing on is getting my body into the best shape it has ever been.  I need to work on myself.  I need to make myself happy befor I can even think about anyone else.  I know there will be struggles but I know I can overcome them.  I am a strong person and I can do anything  I put my mind to. 
  Throughout life all I have ever wanted was to find someone to love and love me in return.  I've been focusing all my energy on finding this person and putting way to much energy into things that I should just walk away from. Why?  So, I don't end up alone?  The truth is i know there is going to be someone in my life that I meet along this journey.  I don't know when and I definately don't know how.  Maybe I already met him.  All I know is now is not the time for me to worry about that anymore.  It causes way to much stress and unwanted drama in my life.  Don't get me wrong.  I will still wish everyday that Mr. Right walks into my life but until then i'm not going to worry about it too much or atleast try.  I'm done dealing with married men, psychos, or emotionaly unavailable people.  I know when Mr. Right walks into my life I will know it or better yet when I am ready for him to walk into my life he will.  I am really sad seeing happy couples or the married guy with his wife and talking about hearing his babies heartbeat for the first time and how happy that makes him but i know my time will come.  Plus, with the married guy, karma will come back to bite him in the ass.  I know it might come back towards me.  I really hope it doesn't because I was really stupid and I realize this.  I just can't help when my heart falls for someone.  It's like no rules apply or nothing else matters.  I am changing my ways though.  I just want to be happy and have my life in order.  I'm sick of the chaos that it's in right now.  I plan on going into hermit mode for awhile and dropping off the face of the earth from the people that know me.  I need to do it for myself.  I need to regroup and reprioritize my life or it will get way to out of control.  I'm an adult now and any of the decisions I make are my own and the mistakes I make.  I will have to deal with the repercussions alone as well.  I know I can do this and I'm going to work my ass at it everyday.  Time to grow up a little more because I've had enough immature fun to last me awhile.  Wish me luck  =D