branded a fool...

I'm not doing so well today.  I ended up getting a little tipsy after work last night with my 2 guy friends and 1 girlfriend that I work with at the mall.  I ended up sleeping with the married man. Again.  It was amazing. Probably the best sex I have ever had but I actually feel like shit about it today.  It made me want him that much more and plus he left hickeys all over me.  Great. Now my kinda boyfriend my ex isaac will be pissed if he sees them.  I feel like a horrible person.  His wife doesn't know and my significant other have no idea.  What are we doing to them?  Why is the married guy comming to me.  WHY did he have to make me fall head over heals in love with him.  I'm just angry, sad, confused, and a whole clusterfuck of emotions I can't even explain.  Why did I have to set myself up for this?  Why was I so damn stupid?  Now all I can think about is him.  I just want to be close and feel his strong arms around me.  I will never have that though because he will never leave his wife and I'm just some girl that's satisfying his sexual appetite.  I lost a lot of respect for myself.  Not to mention, we didn't use a condom last night.  How stupid.  GAH!!  I'm just upset and I want to cry my eyes out.  I know everything happens for a reason but I'm still trying to figure out the reason for this whole incident.  Until then adios....