Oh, life. What an akward phase

I'm sitting here at work bored out of my mind. I am not a very happy camper today.  I have been busting my ass working 11-12 hourse everyday.  My boss was "supposed" have new workers this week so I don't have to be bleach brights slave.  Did he? NO!  Of course he didn't.  He is the biggest procrastinator I know. Well, besides my best friend Gabe. Nonetheless I am getting extremely sick of this nonsense.  I am contiplating walking into the middle of the mall, screaming at the top of my lungs, and then running full speed into the cement wall.  Oh yes, it's that bad.  The only thing I have to look forward to for today is my guy friends comming to grab me for the occasional smoke break. RIDICULOUS!  I do enjoy their company and they make my day a hell of a lot better but this not having a life outside of work is making me want to punch babies.  Now that I got that little bit off my chest it's time to tell you about my "akward life phase."
   Soooooo,  Everything is going pretty well in my life right now.  I have a job that I make great money at, my own place, wonderful friends, and I'm newly 21. The only thing is everything feels hollow.  I don't mean to sound emo or anything.  It's just like I'm not completely ok.  I don't know if it's because I'm not in college anymore or if I'm just way too stressed but it's making me worry.  Sometimes I get this feeling that life is passing me by and I'm not truly enjoying it.  What is the purpose of life anyhow?  I don't even know.  I feel like something is missing from my life.  I feel like there is just no purpose most days.  I'm not depressed either.  I'm one of the happiest people ever.  I just feel like I've come to a crossroads and I dont know which way I should take. Also, this whole "never seeing my family thing" hurts.  I feel like they forgot about me.  They are completely content with out seeing me for months at a time. When all I do is miss the comfort of home. I've also been thinking how wierd it is to be an adult and not having your parents to take care of you.  It's just..strange.  I have been on my own now since I was 17. So, i am pretty much used to it but i find it odd that I am a ncompletely functioning adult.  I never thought I would be able to do it.  Especially alone.  Which brings me to my next issue.  I feel so alone here.  I have my best friend of 15 years but our schedules are so conflicting.  I don't have a roommate anymore or a boyfriend.  I do EVERYTHING alone.  I like it most of the time but sometimes it's like seriously?  Why can't I have a somebody, anybody.  Urgh.
   Like I've stated in previous blogs. I'm in extreme like with a married man.  I tried to get away but everytime I see him I forget why I didn't want to be involved with him in the first place.  He just makes me so happy. All he has to do is say hi or come and grab me for a smoke and there I go falling again.   I fall for the wrong people.  Always.  Can I please just slip away into my dreamland and never come back.  Atleast there anything is possible and I can create anytype of situation to go however I want it to.  I need some really good sleeping pills.  Hey!  Maybe that's what I will do.  Just try to sleep the rest of my life in a state of unconciousness and dream my life the way I want it to go.  Frick yeah, sounds like a plan.