I wanted to have a blog because I love to write. Writing to me is an awesome way to get all your feeling and emotions out. I like to rant about random things. So, here's pieces of my mind and a whole lot of crazy.
About Me
- xx-tiarenae
- I'm a very outgoing nice and caring person. I'm very random and love to hang out with my family and friends.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
tia is crazy
I've been lost in my mind the passed couple of days. I can't pinpoint exactly what's been bothering me. I don't even know how I feel right now. Everything is going just fine in my life. Nothing bad has happened. I'm very frustrated. I feel like I need a friend. One that isn't in love with me or only cares about their issues. Ryan is a great friend but I feel like I need someone who understands the person I used to be. If that makes any sense at all. One thing that has been bothering me is my relationship with Ryan. It's going good. I just feel like things are off. I don't know if that makes sense either. Maybe I'm trying to talk myself out of it again. I don't know. What I do know is that I feel like he could do so much better. So it's like I'm waiting for him to realize this and leave. I know this has a lot to do with my past relationship but maybe he was right too. I just want to cry because it's like this horrible feeling in my stomach that I know something bad will happen. I try to be positive but it's still there. I have this weird feeling that I need to run away. My friend is moving to chicago in the fall and I feel like I should go but Ryan is what is holding me back. I couldn't leave him but I feel like I should. See what I mean...my though process is all fucked up. It even shows in my writing. Ooofda.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Massive explosion all over your face.. AHHH
Time to vent my frustration to you google blogger because I don't want to bother people with my issues.
HERE I GOOOOOOOOO
Well first of all I'd like to say fuck you to everything that pissed me off today.
1. Step mom
2. Wild Hog
3. Black dude that harasses me
4. Step mom
5. Some random dude that spilled his drink on me
Ok so it's not a whole lot on that list but they all contribute a fair share as to why I want to kick puppies. (and I love animals)
Wild Hog is just a bitch and completely fucked up my schedule for the next 3 weeks. The one time they decide to not procrastinate and do their job. I wish they hadn't. Plus this dude I work with went completely overboard with harassing me today. So what did I do. I freaked the fuck out on him and I got into trouble. Enough of that.
I called my little sister today to try and get my xbox back. Did I get it? I'll give you a hint. No. I'm ok with that now because I found out what's been going on in her life recently. She told me how my step mom has been bad mouthing the shit out of me to everyone in warroad that has anything to do with me. Also my little sisters told danielle that they dont remember who I am. FUCKING SWEET! My little sister kaiya said " My mommy told me that you guys need to buy a new family." WTF DUDE? I can only imagine what Cindy is telling a 6 and 4 year old. Horrible. My dad is also cheating on cindy. BIG SURPRISE. I cant even write everything down. It's just ridiculous. I'm just waiting for everything to start exploding in everyones face. All I know is that I am done with that side of my family. It's too much to try and love them when they despise everything that I am. Am I really that bad of a person? I'm sick of looking for approval. I'm sick of wishing that cindy would call me. I'm sick of missing them. I'm sick of them not caring if I exist. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. Just when I thought I might be getting somewhere with all of this. I get stabbed in the heart. Well.. I'm done. (sorry im upset so my grammer and punctuations is completely horrible..whatev)
You say that I'll never change but what the fuck do you know. I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in. I cant forgive you now. I remember everything.
special thank yous for making my day better go out to...
1. Pizza hut for giving me free stuff
2. My old co workers at pizza hut that all gave me a hug
3. Lady at the bank for cashing my check even tho my id is gone
4. Danielle for being the only one knowing what Im going through
5. BIG ONE to Ryan for just being himself. I dont feel as alone with him. :)
6. Diet pepsi..for quenching my thirst.
Thank you
HERE I GOOOOOOOOO
Well first of all I'd like to say fuck you to everything that pissed me off today.
1. Step mom
2. Wild Hog
3. Black dude that harasses me
4. Step mom
5. Some random dude that spilled his drink on me
Ok so it's not a whole lot on that list but they all contribute a fair share as to why I want to kick puppies. (and I love animals)
Wild Hog is just a bitch and completely fucked up my schedule for the next 3 weeks. The one time they decide to not procrastinate and do their job. I wish they hadn't. Plus this dude I work with went completely overboard with harassing me today. So what did I do. I freaked the fuck out on him and I got into trouble. Enough of that.
I called my little sister today to try and get my xbox back. Did I get it? I'll give you a hint. No. I'm ok with that now because I found out what's been going on in her life recently. She told me how my step mom has been bad mouthing the shit out of me to everyone in warroad that has anything to do with me. Also my little sisters told danielle that they dont remember who I am. FUCKING SWEET! My little sister kaiya said " My mommy told me that you guys need to buy a new family." WTF DUDE? I can only imagine what Cindy is telling a 6 and 4 year old. Horrible. My dad is also cheating on cindy. BIG SURPRISE. I cant even write everything down. It's just ridiculous. I'm just waiting for everything to start exploding in everyones face. All I know is that I am done with that side of my family. It's too much to try and love them when they despise everything that I am. Am I really that bad of a person? I'm sick of looking for approval. I'm sick of wishing that cindy would call me. I'm sick of missing them. I'm sick of them not caring if I exist. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. Just when I thought I might be getting somewhere with all of this. I get stabbed in the heart. Well.. I'm done. (sorry im upset so my grammer and punctuations is completely horrible..whatev)
You say that I'll never change but what the fuck do you know. I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in. I cant forgive you now. I remember everything.
special thank yous for making my day better go out to...
1. Pizza hut for giving me free stuff
2. My old co workers at pizza hut that all gave me a hug
3. Lady at the bank for cashing my check even tho my id is gone
4. Danielle for being the only one knowing what Im going through
5. BIG ONE to Ryan for just being himself. I dont feel as alone with him. :)
6. Diet pepsi..for quenching my thirst.
Thank you
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