its better to ask for forgiveness then permission...amen

So i've been drinking again... and I have a lot to say about my family situation.  I know I messed up but really is it ok to abandon people that you are supposed to love?  My step mom has been on my mine for a long time and I don't know what to do. I mis her but at the same time i hate her guts.  I miss our friendship. she has gotten me threw a lot and I appreciate that but she has completely disowned me as a person.  Yeh... I've made many mistakes but I am a great person but that is part of the learning experience of life.. make mistakes and fuck up but who you are at the end of the day is what makes you ..you,  I am not perfect.  I have never claimed to be anything of the sort.  I am human.  I do stupid shit.  It's all about the learning experience.  I only have one life to live and I want to be able to say I have done everything. Good or bad.  I am having fun and I am being myself.  How many people can say that they are being true to themselves like that?.. not many.  lol  I will never pretend to be someone I am not .  Its better to ask for forgiveness then permission.  amen